


Curious

by adavison



Series: Cursed Crack!Fics [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Camping, Crack, Firewhiskey (Harry Potter), Lube, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, Squick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:26:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22334896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adavison/pseuds/adavison
Summary: Severus Snape had always been a curious man.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Severus Snape
Series: Cursed Crack!Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1672009
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	Curious

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, friends! This is a pairing that I absolutely NEVER thought I would write. This is truly a crack!fic. As such, I thoroughly enjoyed drinking a massive glass of shiraz while writing. 
> 
> I want to give HUGE thank yous to:  
> Jos.A who helped me brainstorm this craziness and didn’t hesitate to be just as weird as I am, 
> 
> My Alpha, [Ms_SackvilleWest](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ms_SackvilleWest/profile) and my Betas [meditationsinemergencies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meditationsinemergencies/profile) and Uncle A who are constant sources of friendship and inspiration, 
> 
> And my sister Neen who has absolutely zero known squicks, except for this fic. When you were grossed out by the in-depth summary I gave you, I knew I had to write it.

Twenty-five fifth years running amok in the Forbidden Forest, all in the name of a joint class project. Why the fuck did Albus think that this would be a good idea? It was definitely NOT in his job description. Thank Merlin he and Lupin had finally been able to get the children to settle down and retire to their tents. 

Severus was sitting on a conjured stool in front of a happily crackling campfire. The night certainly wasn’t peaceful. How could it be when he was living in a special kind of hell being forced to chaperone these cretins - now that they were mostly asleep, or feigning sleep, he found it much easier to imagine himself in his own quarters, in front of his own hearth. Unfortunately, his imaginings did not last long. Lupin, the ever affable man, came up beside him and ever so rudely tore him from his musings. 

“Firewhiskey?” the man asked, offering him a glass with a generous measure of amber liquid.

Severus raised an imperious eyebrow that he hoped conveyed scepticism and disdain. Apparently, it did not work, because the werewolf continued his innocuous pleasantries.

“I haven’t poisoned it. Come on, Severus. It’s been a long day. Take the drink.”

“Is this some sort of peace offering?” he asked, eyes slitted in reptilian contempt.

“If you like,” Lupin chuckled. 

He reluctantly brought the glass to his lips and sipped. After rolling the spirit around in his mouth for a moment, savouring the smoky flavours, he finally nodded his acceptance and swallowed. 

The two men sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the drink and the near-silence of the night. 

Then he could feel it coming: Lupin was about to speak. How he would have liked to stop it. To just sit quietly, drink, and go to bed. But no, Lupin was too much of a Gryffindor in spite of his “monthly problem”. The mutt would want to talk. Seconds later, he was proven right.

“You know,” Lupin began, ignoring his heavy sigh. “I was very impressed today with how you handled the situation with the centaurs.”

“Really. The great Remus Lupin was ‘impressed’,” he used air quotes, supercilious venom dripping from his whiskey moistened lips, “by something I, a snivelling snake, did?” 

“Actually, yes. Things could have turned nasty. You handled Bane and Ronan well,” Lupin said approvingly. “Do you speak with the centaurs often?”

“No more than you.” He was surprised by the sincerity in the man’s voice. He began shuffling the toe of his left boot into the ground, an old habit he had picked up as a child and slipped back into whenever he felt uneasy. He had to consciously stop himself and instead, finished his drink in one go. The burn of the Firewhiskey as it travelled down his throat served as a good distraction, something he was in desperate need of. 

Lupin immediately refilled their glasses. 

“We probably shouldn’t be indulging, seeing as we are the sole guardians of these… children while they are in the forest,” he said reproachfully.

“Oh come now, one more drink won’t hurt.” The other man raised a challenging brow. “You’re not a light-weight, are you?”

“Certainly not. However, I’m sure you have a much higher tolerance due to your… what was it your friends called it?”

“My ‘furry little problem’?”

“Doesn’t seem so ‘little’.” Oh sweet Salazar, what caused him to say that? But a quick glance in the man’s direction only confirmed that nothing about him could possibly be little.

“Oh, you are right about that,” Lupin said darkly.

Was it just his imagination, or did the man’s eyes briefly flash amber?

It may have been the whiskey, but he suddenly felt emboldened to continue. 

“Am I? Hmm… I always wondered about that.”

“Did you?”

He hummed in ascent. “I never hated you, Lupin. I was always just… curious. And I had no idea how to satisfy that curiosity.”

“And now? Are you still… curious?”

“You would be willing to let me do some… research on the matter?”

“I never hated you either, Severus.” 

He quickly vanished his glass before reaching out and doing the same to the other. The man got up and walked in front of him, extending a hand. 

“Come back to my tent and find out the answer to your curiosities.” 

He had always been a curious man. Had he not been so drawn to power, he might have been placed in Ravenclaw. Without a second thought, he reached out and took the proffered hand. 

The two slipped quietly into Lupin’s tent at the far end of the campsite, keeping to the shadows and doing their best not to wake the minefield of students surrounding them. Rather like the man himself, the exterior of the tent was shabby; it was probably second, or even third-hand. It’s interior, however, was warm and inviting. A wood stove in the far corner heated the room nicely and gave off a soft glow, lighting the room just enough for him to see the worn but comfortable-looking furniture. The space was a single room, small for a wizard tent, but it carried an overpowering sense of safety and warmth — rather like a den.

Before he could take in much more of the space, the werewolf pounced. He found himself being wrapped up in strong, muscular arms. The feeling sent a shiver down his spine. His rather incorrect assumptions regarding Lupin’s lankiness were put to rest as the tall and broad-chested man ravished his prey. He hadn’t expected such raw strength from the man. Lupin’s insatiable hunger was beginning to devour him like some unfortunate soul lost in the woods. This turn of events was starting to excite parts of his body other than his brain.

Without warning, he felt a large hand weave itself into his hair, wrenching his head back as rough, chapped lips met his. The first thing his brain registered was the scent of the man. It was like old parchment and chocolate, and a whiff of wet dog, but not in an unpleasant way. The next desperately arousing sensation was the feeling of Lupin’s stubble grazing his cheeks as the man moved away from his lips and began roaming down his neck, nipping and grazing his teeth along the sensitive flesh.

He moaned and grabbed a fistful of the taller man’s shirt. Not even bothering with the buttons, he ripped it off in one fluid motion, revealing a broad, muscled, scarred and well-furred chest. He broke away to take it all in. The man was a beast. A beautiful beast.

Without a second thought, he surged forward and licked a stripe along brutal-looking scars that trailed from the man’s right hip, up his abdomen, over his left pectoral and ending on his shoulder. The man tasted of sweat and arousal. He could feel his mouth water as he took in the feeling of the solid wall of flesh in front of him. The man. The wolf. And sweet Salazar, as he reached up and leant in to trail his tongue along the top of that scar, he found the swell of what he instantly knew to be an impressive cock.

Lupin growled low in his chest, and he felt the sound reverberate against him. With the flick of a wand, the man transfigured the sofa into a bed, tossed his wand to the side and then used his powerful hands to rip off whatever clothing remained. 

He was divested of his own robes and undergarments in a similar fashion. He had no idea where their clothing landed, but as soon as he felt himself being lifted and slammed onto the bed, he found he no longer cared. He was hard as a rock, and a gorgeous werewolf was hovering above him, sporting the largest erection he had ever seen. It could, quite honestly, rival that of a Muggle soda can. At that moment, he knew he had to have it.

“Sweet Salazar,” he moaned, “ Fuck me, Remus. Fuck me with your massive wolf cock.”

A predatory look crossed the man’s face as he crawled up the bed.

“Are you sure? Do you really want it? Are you really so curious?”

“Yes,” he moaned again, desire colouring his words.

“Alright,” the wolf chuckled. He looked around quickly, then murmured under his breath, “Fuck.”

“What?”

“Our wands are over there. I’ve always been shit at wandless lubrication spells,” the werewolf admitted. 

“Me too.”

“And you’re going to want some. Spit won’t do a damn thing to get this puppy in that tight little arse of yours.” Lupin leant down and pressed their erections together.

He hissed at the pleasurable contact and thrust upwards to meet the man, capturing his mouth once more in a fierce kiss as he allowed his hands to roam the beast on top of him. 

Lupin took control of the kiss again. A hand buried itself in his hair and adjusted the angle of their kiss. Suddenly, Lupin pulled away, a wicked grin splitting his face. The man’s other hand joined the first and ran through silken black tresses only to come away damp with oil.

Lupin chuckled darkly, “I knew that greasy hair of yours would come in handy.”

He grimaced momentarily, affronted at the remark. However, his cock was still rock hard and he’d be damned if he passed up this opportunity to satisfy his curiosity. Something told him that the experience he was about to have would blow his liaison with the giant squid out of the water.

The man dove downward and began to work a finger into the hot hole that was ready and waiting for him. Severus keened as the slick digit penetrated him and another hand worked his member. Bliss. Pure bliss. He was about to be fucked by this massive, hunky werewolf and could not wait to be filled.

~~~~

Hermione jolted awake in the library, her face pressed into the hard corner of an open book. Sitting up quickly, she looked around attempting to see if anyone noticed she had dozed off while simultaneously trying to work a crick out of her neck.

Rolls of parchment littered the desk, filled with OWL notes on the chapters of her Defense Against the Dark Arts and Potions textbooks, lying open in front of her. 

Suddenly, the dream came back to her. She paled. Oh, Merlin! What in Godric’s name had all that been all about? 

That pill she had bought off Ernie Macmillan couldn’t have been an Adderall. At least, Adderall never gave her weird dreams like that. She was going to kill that Hufflepuff! 


End file.
